Pushing Buttons and Pinching Bodies

The dark art of pushing buttons

(This is an example of a Dark Arts article found in the FREE Footy Dark Arts Newsletter)

Erling Haaland shows his battle scars after his duel with Everton’s Yerry Mina

Football is a contact sport, where players jostle for space, position and opportunity. As such, physical duels occur between players and this article is about these dark arts that can disadvantage your opponents.

From the very first minute of the match between Everton and Manchester City, the physical tussle began between the 1.94m tall Norwegian Sky Blue and the 1.95m tall Columbian Toffee. Referee Anthony Taylor had to be focused and had warned the two players from the very beginning.

Referee Anthony Taylor (orange) gives a public warning to Haaland and Mina very early on in the match

It used to be that rock-solid defenders and giant centre forwards would shove each other and stand off against one another in a very public showing. But these days, the less obvious you are, the better. Being able to sneakily push an opponent’s buttons is a dark art. And pinching bodies is the current dark art.

At a corner kick in the 16’ minute, Everton’s Yerry Mina showed his sneaky side by stamping on City’s Aymeric Laporte and then pinching his body. When Laporte reacted by squaring up to Mina, the giant Columbian cleverly falls over as he pretends to have been headbutted. 

Everton’s Yerry Mina (blue 13) secretly stamps on Man City’s Aymeric Laporte (yellow 14) and also pinches Laporte’s torso

And to make things worse, the heated atmosphere goes up a level because Mina’s teammates believe Laporte has headbutted their “innocent” defender. They start waving their hands around, shouting and harassing the referee to punish their opponent.

Everton’s other players (blue) get involved and attempt to make things worse as Laporte shows his “pinch marks”

All this can be easily observed in the clear and objective light of day away from the hotbed of the pitch. However, for match officials, they are constantly in the spotlight and being challenged by players, coaches and fans who only see what they want to see. The referees in the EPL are encouraged to keep their cards in their pockets, for the most part, and will just try to calm down the players. But because no disciplinary actions are taken, or seen to be taken, players and coaches will simply continue to apply the dark arts, such as pushing buttons and pinching bodies.

For instance, Anthony Taylor has already given plenty of warnings to the players, and yet they still continue their dark arts. Most people in the know also understand that this is all a show and entertainment, so as long as the involved parties take this view, then they can laugh off these incidents such as in the 31’ minute.

Referee Anthony Taylor uses his personality to help calm players down

But then when another physical tussle ensues in the 41’ minute between Haaland and Mina, with the referee paying close attention, they continue and the referee simply ignores them.

Players continue to tussle and the referee gives nothing

Haaland appears to have a good nature and attitude about this, and attempts to make light of the situation. He tries to laugh and joke with Mina. Perhaps it’s because Haaland has just scored and his team are now two goals up? However, Haaland’s teammate Laporte does not like Mina (due to Mina’s earlier dark arts on him in the 16’ minute), and as Laporte gets within earshot, he appears to say something nasty towards Mina. Again, pushing buttons.

Laporte appears to say something nasty towards Mina

However, had this match remained goalless, or even worse had Everton taken the lead, then the more desperate the Manchester City players would become and the intensity would rise significantly. This is when the “tipping point” would be reached and players would explode. It’s a fairly wobbly tightrope to walk for players and referees, and really depends on how desperate the players are for a result in their favour.

What do you think? If the match remained goalless or if City was chasing the match, would the players battling against each other be so good humoured?

And don’t be mistaken that Haaland and other players are innocent and good natured. They are not. Back in April, Brentford’s Ben Mee revealed that Haaland pinches players too. And this was when Mee’s Brentford had beaten Manchester City in November 2022. Mee claims Haaland was using dark arts, such as pinching, to distract him from his defensive duties since City (and Haaland) were chasing the game.

Conclusion

We must acknowledge that the dark arts are an essential part of The Beautiful Game now. Once this is acknowledged, then it is up to the game’s lawmakers (ie, the International Football Association Board or IFAB) to take steps to help the competition organisers and match officials to mitigate these unsporting behaviours and actions.  

References

Everton 0 - 3 Manchester City (The Guardian)

Shirtless Erling Haaland shows off his battle scars after clashing with Yerry Mina (Daily Mail)

Erling Haaland PINCHES his opponent in an attempt to put them off during games (Daily Mail)

(This article was first published in the FREE FootyDarkArts Newsletter on 25 May 2023)